Life as a Fine Balance
Three Ways to Balance Family and a Personal Sense of Self.
Women have several roles to play within the family, in addition to working outside the home. Here are three ways to ensure a happy and satisfying balance in life.
Women daydream about wedding days, when the babies will come and how to fit work in with family. These plans have steadfastness about them in which women seem to be certain of how their future is going to play out. However, the days which follow marriage and babies prove to be a challenging balancing act of meeting the needs of children, spouse, workplace and finding time to nurture oneself. A woman needs emotional and mental reserves, exclusive to her, in order to foster her sense of identity. Without these reserves, the energy and strength needed to attend to her other roles will suffer. Here are three ways in which one can feed these important reserves.
Join a Class:
An easy way to set aside some time is to register for a class. This is an opportunity to pursue a hobby at a deeper level or introduce a new activity into a daily routine. Recreational classes or sports allow for social interaction with adults outside of the family dynamic. Both the mind and body are stimulated and active, which contributes to an overall increase in energy.
Rene was frustrated with the rigid schedule that had her locked into working in a stressful job, rushing to pick up the children from different daycares and then yielding to the responsibilities of the household. One day, Rene’s co-worker was talking about her Egyptian belly dancing classes. Rene had heard of belly dancing classes before and thought that they would be fun. On that day, Rene took the initiative to inquire of the dates and times of the classes from her co-worker. Three months later Rene was hooked: “These classes gave me some time out to myself and they help with my body image. No one can feel anything but beautiful when belly dancing!”
Love Your Work:
Since a significant part of a working mother’s day is taken up by work, it is important to be true to professional dreams. Working at a job that offers more than just financial stability and involves tasks that speak to a woman personally, a sense of self and personal satisfaction will be recreated each day.
Jeanine had been working at a highly stressful social work job for five years. The internal politics, lack of support for staff and the general negativity of the type of work began to suck vital energy not only from herself, but from her family life as well. The money she was bringing in simply was not enough of a trade off for the misery that was overwhelming her days. When looking at job postings, she found an advertisement for a job with a non-profit organization that she had been interested in when she had first graduated. She applied, was interviewed and given a position even higher and with more complex responsibilities than those which were advertised. Jeanine was ecstatic and comments, “The positive energy from the staff and the respect given to the workers from the managers is more emotionally satisfying and worth the financial trade off.”
Enjoy the silence:
A mother’s life, working outside the home or not, is incredibly hectic. From the early morning rise to either tend to the young baby or get the school aged kids prepared for the day, chaos starts soon and continues all day. Making time for some moments of peaceful reflection or simply engaging in a meditative activity such as reading, art or music is important. Not every one has an affinity for yoga or straight out meditation. Choose a moment in the day or evening that works and make a space for a quiet activity. Plan for this time with a spouse or family member who can assist in caring for the children or what ever else is necessary to facilitate being alone. Caroline describes her experience: “My days were filled with the children, work and spending time with my husband. I did not want to really take away from any of these things, so I started setting the alarm an hour earlier in the mornings. It was very hard for the first week or so. But soon I began to like getting up early to have a tea, sit on the balcony and enjoy the quiet of the early morning. This time helped me to become more calm and patient with my children and was a mental space I could return to when the chaos of the day became overwhelming.”
The shift from an independent person to a mother, wife and employee is a challenging balancing act. Maintaining a content sense of self, takes a great deal of creativity, strength and energy. Preserve the importance of hobbies. Work at a rewarding job. Enjoy peaceful moments. The benefit from these three actions is a sense of personal power that spills over into the other areas of family life creating a fine balance.
